Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Lies and the Lying Pop Stars Who Tell Them

The new issue of Blender: 80 pages, 30 of which are ads. I lost count of the lies.

Jay Rock (a rapper) says that he would live in the projects even if he became a millionaire. If you are a millionaire, you are ineligible for subsidized housing. That would be like getting a federal bailout and then buying a private jet. If most of your income is unreported (or unreportable), you can "support" your single mother while couch surfing at her apartment (1BR, 1BA). Or you can do the right thing: buy her a house, move on up, and make room at the bottom for someone who actually needs a rent subsidy.

T.I. (another rapper) spoke about his teenage days as a drug dealer. He says that he made "thousands" per day, but "never made no hundreds of thousands of dollars". Do the math: if you made $2K per day, then you made at least $100K/yr, even if you only worked one day a week. Unless you're underreporting your income (or exaggerating your criminal past). At least Blender takes Akon to task on that.

Lily Allen says that she didn't know that Joe Strummer was famous until she attended his funeral. Sure she didn't. She was 17 years old when he died. Her parents (who chose Strummer as Lily's godfather) are media whores, and their daughter is no different. Lily Allen knew who Joe Strummer was.

Bret Michaels finesses a reader's question about his hair by saying that it is "slightly receding" and "not as long as (he'd) like it to be". Then he completely misses the point of another reader's question: "Do you ever think of how your 'candy store' mentality on the show will impact your daughters later on?" Michaels responds, "I am a kid in a candy store -- it's a dating show!"

Sir, allow me to explicate: You're an aging gigolo trying to milk a declining career by pressuring younger women to degrade themselves on camera. Your "dates" are just a new twist on the world's oldest profession. As your daughters grow up, does it occur to you that their relationship with their father, and with men in general, will be irrevocably polluted by your pathetic charade? If Flavor Flav is the Little Richard of the reality "love" shows, then Bret Michaels is Pat Boone. Discuss.


At 2/24/2009 1:41 PM , Blogger Nazz Nomad said...

Good to see that Blender has 30 ads in an 80 page issue. in these discouraging times for magazines, that a great percentage.

rock stars are liars? who knew??????

but Bret Michaels is a farking genius. He gets Mtv to pay for his booty calls. Even if it is skanky booty.

At 2/25/2009 10:11 AM , Blogger jonderneathica said...

I must respectfully disagree with Mr. Nomad. Bret Michaels has done nothing in the medium of music or television that I would consider genius. If BM is a genius, then Flavor Flav must be an uber-genius, and I don't think anyone would go so far as to say that.


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