Thursday, July 13, 2006

Underneathica Hates Your Friends

When I told my friend Chris that I had started an mp3 blog, he wanted to know when I was going to write about him. So this post is for Chris. Let me describe his best qualities: he is easily the wealthiest person I know, which is the main reason I stay in touch with him. He lives in a turret of Victorian wealth in an exclusive gated community with his wife and their umpteen children. He has more money than sense. Chris plays the stock market now, but he made his fortune at an early age by cheating retirees out of their pensions in elaborate Ponzi schemes. He was a precocious white-collar criminal. In fact, he was a teenage bankman.

People may read this and ask, "Jon, why do you hate your friends?" I don't. I love my friends, despite their fetching frailties and feeble foibles. It's YOUR friends I can't stand.

Lemonheads: Hate Your Friends
You Am I: Fifteen
Union Carbide Productions: Teenage Bankman

10 Comments:

At 7/17/2006 9:29 AM , Anonymous Ann said...

When you post about me, consider the phrase "plucky single mom."

 
At 7/17/2006 11:19 AM , Anonymous chris said...

Jon
I have forgotten that request. Thats not suprising since that wealth you speak of has led to a life spent in a drunken haze

 
At 7/17/2006 12:39 PM , Blogger jon manyjars said...

Plucky it shall be, Ann. Chris, you are a shoddy shadow of your former self. If you have any pride left, check yourself into rehab. Your pals the Kennedys can probably recommend you a good one.

 
At 7/22/2006 9:44 PM , Anonymous Paula said...

Oo, oo, are you going to do posts for all of us? You can refer to me as "that leggy brunette." Leggy? "That medium-tall brunette."

 
At 7/23/2006 7:50 AM , Blogger jon manyjars said...

OK Paula, do you want to be plucky too? Or does Ann corner the market on pluck? You seem to have pluckability, if you don't mind me saying so.

 
At 7/23/2006 10:51 PM , Anonymous Paula said...

You can let Ann be plucky, if I can simply have some moxie. And I don't mean Moxie Soda.

 
At 7/24/2006 9:47 PM , Blogger jon manyjars said...

You've got moxie to burn, no doubt about it. Just like that character in the Winona Ryder movie, "Please Go Home, Moxie Carbuncle".

 
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